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‘The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.’ (Anonymous)
Who doesn’t need a boost now and then, especially when life has been less than kind! We’re all human so it’s normal to feel insecure and anxious about ourselves from time to time. Even strong people feel unsure and wobbly when things go wrong, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Here are some tips to get you feeling bold and strong when you’re wilting under the stresses and strains of modern life. If you’re feeling keen, get yourself a notebook or journal and start writing some stuff down. It really does help.
1. Think about a time when you felt confident
No matter how shy and retiring someone is, there would be a time when they felt bold and assertive. If this sounds like you, it might help to think back to those times and visualise the scenes in one’s mind.
What was going on that created confidence? Notice and remember your body language and posture. What thoughts were going through your head?
It’s a useful practice to write down the answers to these questions and reflect on them for a while. If one can try and repeat the circumstances that encouraged the confident feelings then, it can help with feeling confident in other situations.
Practice makes perfect!
2. See yourself through the eyes of someone who loves you
Think about someone who loves you, a lot! Yes, I’m sure there’s a few.
See yourself through their eyes. Imagine that person standing over there, in the distance, looking back at you. What do you think they see? What positive things have people said to you about why they love you?
Yes, you’re cute, but we need more than that. What are the qualities they value? Turn the volume right up on those conversations. Take those words in and believe them!
Repeat this a few times a week and see if it makes a difference.
3. Act as if….
There’s the old adage that has been around for a while that if someone wants to feel confident, they should just ‘fake it till they make it.’
There’s a fair amount of truth to this saying, but perhaps a better way of explaining it would be, ‘do those things that a confident person would do.’
There’s a good deal of research that shows the mind follows where the body leads. If someone puts their shoulders back and walks with purpose, it often makes them feel more confident.
Why not try it? See if standing up straight and talking in a clear strong voice has any effect on your own confidence levels. Does it feel different? Instead of shrinking and blending into the background, try the opposite and see what happens.
People are influenced by how we feel about ourselves and that’s something each of us has control over so be purposeful and unapologetic. Own your place in the world and others will respect that.
I hope these tips have been helpful. If you are keen to learn more about how to build self-confidence, contact us for a free coaching session or join us for a confidence-building workshop.
Take care and be kind to each other